Dry

02/04/2009

I live in an area with relatively mild winters and virtually no snow. But it’s quite cold and snowing for the second time in less than a month, which means the polar ice caps are melting and my coastal town will end up below sea level. I guess that’s okay. I’ve always wanted to live in the mountains.

Anyway, since it’s cold, the heat pump in our house is running constantly, which makes the air quite dry.  In the morning, I awake to discover that my tongue has been replaced by a Lay’s potato chip, and my skin is like powdered-sugar doughnut. (Do I make you hungry?) This certainly does not bode well for my few remaining areas of under-eye skin that aren't yet wrinkled. I haven’t paid particular attention to my eyelids lately, but I wonder if they are starting to look “crepey,” as in resembling crepe paper. (I don’t think that's an official word, but surely you've heard it if you’ve ever had a makeup counter salesperson try to sell you overpriced eye cream.)

When I had pneumonia and was continually running my humidifier, I noticed that even though it felt as if the life was slowly being drained from my body via my mucous membranes, my skin looked positively luminous! Then an allergist had to go and ruin everything by informing me that frequent humidifier use creates an overgrowth of dust mites in bedding and carpets. And I'm very allergic to dust mites. Actually, what I--and anyone else who is allergic to dust--am really allergic to is an enzyme that is present in dust mite poop. (Still hungry?) So much for my in-bedroom spa.

I bet those microscopic little devils are totally loving the flaky state I'm in.

8:02PM

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